“Usually, you to spouse is far more on the concept of experimenting with the newest polyamorous lifetime as compared to other,” shows you Thompson. If the thats the situation, it can cause a tricky stamina instability.

“The newest a bit hesitant lover, that is have a tendency to participating to get to know its mate and keep maintaining out of losing him or her entirely, suffers,” she says. “Due to the fact does the relationship.” If youre seeking polyamory because the a last lodge otherwise as an easy way to keep your mate of cheat, talking about significant red flags.

step 3. What’s your own (and your partner’s) desire?

There are lots of preferred requires one signal the arrangement you are going to be a confident sense to you personally plus lover.

You to definitely major one to: effect simply for monogamy, says Lundquist. For people who plus partner each other believe the monogamous relationships is not a bit fulfilling your needs getting closeness and intimacy (and that no monogamous relationships very could), it might be a code you to polyamory was a better match to you personally.

Good desire may also be as simple as “wanting a lot more love and intimacy inside your life, and you may attempting to visit your spouse become delighted,” Lundquist says.

cuatro. Exactly how safer would you getting in your newest matchmaking?

Which are a slippery mountain-particularly if the dating isnt you to definitely solid to begin with. “Careful polyamory requires far more maturity and you may a more powerful matchmaking in the start once the issues off envy and you can faith is so hard to navigate,” Lundquist says.

Determining exactly how secure the matchmaking are isnt an exact science, states Lundquist, however, there are several questions you will want to inquire just before your give it a try. Read more